The Expendables

Unbiased Review:
The story was weak, you can tell they tried and it was there if you looked for it, but the underlying point took no thought to find. Everything is very spelled out and lead to a movie that was not at all intellectually stimulating. The action was great, highest action-scene-time-to-total-movie-time ratio I have ever seen, decent acting, except on Mickey Rourke's part, he had great acting. At times the movie moved too fast and it was difficult to see what was going on in certain fights, almost like the frame rate was too low, but hopefully that will be better when the DVD comes out. Best cast of any action movie ever (obviously). Overall, if you want pure testosterone driven adrenaline for 2 hours, go see it. Or even if you are a fan of action movies. Otherwise go see Inception. Excellent movie all around with a brilliant story and the ending will leave you breathless. (It did literally for me)

Biased Review:
IF YOU DON'T GOT SEE THE EXPENDABLES YOU ARE WORTHLESS! 2 HOURS OF ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT FIST PUMPING HYPER CHARGED ACTION THAT WILL LEAVE YOU FEELING LIKE THE MANLIEST MAN EVER SPAWNED AT THE END OF IT! THIS MOVIE IS SO MANLY IT PUNCHED KRATOS IN THE FACE AND HE BACKED OFF TO GO BEHEAD SOME STUPID CENTAUR OR SOMETHING, SO MANLY THAT PURE TESTOSTERONE WILL CROSS THE STREET SO IT DOESN'T HAVE TO WALK TO CLOSE TO IT, SO MANLY THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PUNCH THROUGH NASA GRADE STEEL WILL YOUR BARE FIST WHILE COOKING BACON AND CRUSHING CINDER BLOCKS WITH YOUR KNEES JUST FROM THE SECOND HAND MANLINESS OF WATCHING IT! I GUARANTEE IT! GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW, IT IS THE BEST $10.50 YOU WILL SPEND IN YOUR LIFE! WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS! GO GET TICKETS FROM FANDANGO OR SOMETHING AND GET TO YOUR THEATER! GO NOW! GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!

-I thoroughly enjoyed it. ^_-